Which theorist are you most like?

Lenin by Losttrekker.

Which theorist are you most like?

1. You’re at a party in a huge, very expensive house full of people
you don’t know. This is a very unfamiliar setting for you. What do you

A) Look for other people who seem just as uncomfortable as
you, gather them up and start a discussion about race and class in your

B) Compose some poetry on a napkin or snippets for your next essay about the boundaries between genders, races and classes.

C) Stand on a chair and incite a riot.

D) Sit there, observe, and be brilliant.

If you answered:

Mostly As: You are Rosa Luxemburg, the great German Marxist. You believe in the spontaneity of grassroots organization, and believe that the working class masses are their own leaders, building a revolution through bottom-up change. You are smart and rebellious.

Mostly Bs: You are Gloria Anzaldua, the Chicana feminist and editor of “This Bridge Called My Back.” Your work always comes from a highly emotionally charged, very personal place. You’ve taken the theory of dialectical materialism one step further by writing your own experiences about navigating multiple spaces and identities. You are very sensual, creative and spiritual.

Mostly Cs: You are Vladimir Lenin, one badass contradictory MoFo. You believe in most of the classic backbone theories of socialism, such as the nature of imperialism and democratic centralism. You’ve dedicated your life to creating a revolutionary advance force and believe that party-building is the most essential piece in revolution. You are dramatic and militant.

Mostly Ds: You are Frantz Fanon, author of Wretched of the Earth and great contributor to post-colonial studies. You understand the complex psychological effects of oppression, and believe that third world liberatory movements are the key to revolution. You also understand the contradictions of colonial violence and the necessity to sometimes use violence in resistance. You have high hopes for humanity. You’re pretty much a genius.

Saoirse Bell lives on California’s Central Coast and hasn’t read nearly as many theorists as she’d like to. If she could invite any radical theorists from history to dinner, she’d pick the four from this quiz, plus Joss Whedon.


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